In love with a child I haven’t yet met…

I can’t believe how my life changed in these last 6 years. And I’m thankful that I’ve been through all these years with lots of love from dear hubby & my two girls. Bedaaa banget yaaa hidup berumah tangga with or without kids. With kids, waktu serasa terbang melayang tiba-tiba udah mau natalan lagi, padahal baru aja bagi-bagi hongbao waktu chinese new year 😜

Pengalaman gue soal hamil dan anak-anak itu ribet bin repot. I’ve been there, experience every single little thing. Getting pregnant first time ever, miscarriaged, waiting for another pregnancy which really felt like “forever”. Greget yaa rasanya setelah keguguran pertama dan belum hamil lagi sampe hampir 2taon kemudian. Bete, stress, takut, sampe yg trakhir baru bisa bener-bener pasrah sama Yang Kuasa. 

Finally after getting rid of our fears, we got pregnant the 2nd time which felt like the first time. It was so easy. Gave birth vaginally without medications, with only 4 hours contractions. Then when my eldest was 5 months old get preggo with our 3rd pregnancy, went as easy as the first one. And then…. I’m crazy enough to ask for the 4th pregnancy with two living princesses in the house.

I’ve managed to keep my wishes for another child to myself for about a year. Setelah si kecil ultah pertamanya, gue utarakan keinginan untuk punya anak lagi 😜 yang ditanggapi dengan sinis dan tegas oleh sang suami. “TIDAK” jawabnya singkat. Then I start to nag. I’ve been nagging to have another pregnancy for another 2 years before finally my dear hubby granted my wish… Yay!!!

I was on IUD since our 2nd child was 6 months old. After a loooooong discussion and consideration, hubby finally said YES to try for 3rd one. Seinget gue sih suami bilang boleh coba buka spiral hihihi. Although he denied it, he said “maybe we can try” and I translated it as a YES 😜😜😜. I went to my obgyn the next day to take out the IUD, and he said “what????!!!! I said maybe” well… Apapun yg dia katakan gue dengernya boleh coba punya baby lagi, anggep aja begitu hihihi.. Too late, bye bye IUD 😜😜.

A few days after, we have a discussion to have a time frame. Waktu itu kita bicarakan dalam waktu 4 bulan, jika Tuhan gak kasih hamil, yaaa spiralnya dipasang lagi. Dengan berat hati gue buat agreement itu dengan suami. Days after days made me change my mind back and forth. Do i really want this? My answers changes daily. Menghitung hari saatnya datang bulan. Theeeen this came… (I googles these pic since I’m too nervous at that time to took pictures of my own testpack)

Some people said, a man fell in love when they hold their babies, while a woman fell in love when they see those two lines. So true… That instant feeling of joy and love filled me that morning. I hide my smile through out the day, and figuring out how to surprise hubby and kids.

Somehow I managed to keep this a secret from friends and family for 2 weeks. Menghindar setiap hari dari pertanyaan menjurus mulai dari sindiran “waah udah hamil yaaa?!” sampe pertanyaan “kapan tespak?” 😰. Akhirnya harus kepepet untuk break the news to my friends first, sambil masih memikirkan strategi to surprise si hubby. They were confused yet thrilled. Seru nya kebayang hamil bareng-bareng sama Diani, my sis in law.

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